Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Sizing Annoyances

One of the things I have come to realize is that all the help in the world is useless when someone hates their body. Women have so much pressure placed on them to be perfect and be exceptional that it has negative effects on how they feel. I hate that this is the society that we live in. I hate that women cannot celebrate who they are regardless of size. If you are fat you are worthless, you are unattractive and you are invisible. Heavy woman want to hide and often do so by dressing badly. Self-love doesn’t happen by accident or overnight. Women must learn to buck societal constraints and accept who they are in the moment. We may never be perfect, we may never be a size two but that has nothing to do with who we are.

I want women to feel beautiful and feel good. It frustrates me beyond belief to see women beating themselves up over the number on the scale or the number in their clothes. Why is it that we live in a country of abundance and yet everyone feels the need to starve themselves? Why is beauty tied into how far your bones stick out?

We live in a society where female clothing sizes fluctuate on an annual basis; sizes are never “true” or “real”. I doubt that men have the same issue. If a man is a size 34 he is a size 34 everywhere he goes, year in and year out. Men don’t have the same fashion industry mind fuck that women do. The way the industry is designed is to keep as oppressed, keep as constantly striving and always falling short. We may try our entire lives to be a size 6 only to find the next year that we are now a size 10 all due to stores deciding to change their sizing. We can never win. I wish I knew why this was done. I have so many people ask me why and I have no answer. The best I can guess is that it’s too easy to keep sizing the same. When sample sizes are a triple zero than everything is getting cut from that. It all goes back to the idea of models being a healthy weight. I’m at the point in my life where I just hate everything involved with sizing. It makes me so damn mad. I’m tired of listening to women bemoan their size and feel as though their self worth is tied to some tiny number in their clothing. I wish that it was not this way but it seems that it’s not changing anytime soon.

I find myself hitting a wall constantly when I talk to a group of women about clothes. It’s so hard to get through to women that the numbers will always change and you could make yourself crazy trying to keep up with the same size year to year. My best piece of advice is to remember that it doesn’t matter what size you are. Your self-worth should never be tied into a number. Being a size 6 doesn’t make you more valuable, beautiful or valid than being a size 16. Comfort in your skin can’t be dealt to you by a size that’s something you have to figure out on your own. If you can’t or won’t accept your beauty a size is going to make no difference in how you feel about yourself.

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